Helloes! It’s another ROFLWoW podcast! Betcha didn’t think we would put out another episode. Bet you unsubscribed and aren’t even reading this. Bet you could care less if I live or die. You are a cruel, heartless bastard, and I don’t even know why I keep working on this podcast anymore. You don’t appreciate it. When was the last time you took me out for a nice dinner and maybe some dancing. I bet you would rather go out with the secretary at work, wouldn’t you! I’ve seen the way your eyes light up when you get a call from work! You don’t even love me anymore!
…Wait…what?
Where was I? Oh yes, the podcast. We talked about stuff. Winter’s Veil and 3.3 stuff. Dungeon Finder stuff. Other stuff. Various stuff. Listen to it, but don’t do it because you feel obligated, do it because you remember why you fell in love with us so many months ago, try and stir that old feeling up like when we put out a show almost every week.
Now…if you don’t mind, my farm needs tending.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: helloes!
Stranger: are u hot?
You: Not really
You: I’m a big fat guy
Stranger: thats unfortunate
You: I love chewing gum!
You: how about you?
Stranger: i like bubble gum
You: Jawsome!
You: My favorite is Stride Mint gum
You: It lasts forever.
Stranger: r u chewing it right this second?
You: My wife says I chew too loud
Stranger: sounds hot
You: Hells yeah I’m chewing gum!
You: I chew TWO pieces at a time.
You: One isn’t enough.
Stranger: wow man thats danggggerrouusss
Stranger: slowwwwww downnnnnn
You: Nah, I’m a pro
You: I can chew gum all day.
You: Not while I am eating a microwave burrito, though
Stranger: sounds nasty
You: I like to have a few fresh pieces after that.
You: gets all the food out of your teeth!
Stranger: sexyy
You: I like microwave burritos
You: The burps smell really bad, though
You: What did you have for dinner today?
You: I had pasta with meatballs.
You: My wife made it for me and my kids.
Stranger: im anorexic.. i dont eat
You: The meatballs were really good.
You: Oh…I’m sorry
Stranger: how many kiddies do u have?
You: Do you play World of Warcraft?
You: I have two kids.
Stranger: no my boyfriend does though
You: 4 and 6
Stranger: thats one too many
You: It’s their bedtime, gotta go read to them.
You: After I spit out this gum, though.
You: Does your boyfriend have a level 80 Tauren Shaman?
Stranger: hes like awesome
You: I don’t. I have a level 80 Dwarf Paladin.
Stranger: do awesome people have a level 80 tauren shaman?
You: Some awesome people…
You: Others have level 80 Dwarf Paladins.
You: LIKE ME!!!
You: so, why don’t you eat? Did you have a bad childhood?
Stranger: hmm i bet thats for the unawesome people
You: I’m so awesome, I had to put another hole in my belt because
it wasn’t big enough to contain all the awesome.
Stranger: thats depressing
You: Wait…I think that was because I’m fat.
Stranger: i get sadder as i get fatter
You: rofl.
You: okay, kids need bed.
You: hope you find someone “hot” to talk to.
Stranger: thanks
You have disconnected.
This show was recorded live at PodCampAZ, it’s a little bit shorter of a show. This is the point where you want me to write funny stuff for the show notes. Just listen to it, okay. Stop giving me a hard time already.
Here, look at this picture of me and my big muscles.
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Guess who’s back? Back again — ROFLWoW’s back — tell a friend.
I’ve created a podcast, ’cause nobody wants to
Hear Dan no more, they want Cj,
I’m chopped liver.
Well, if you want Cj, this is what I’ll give ya
A little bit of Lil’ K.T with Panderen Brewmaster
Some Halloween that will jumpstart my heart quicka
Then a shock when I get shocked at the Day of the Dead
By the Chinese government when I’m not cooperating
When I’m rockin’ the philosophy while he’s book writing “Hey!”
You waited this long to stop debating
‘Cause I’m back, I’m level 80 and so is Cj and Andy
I know that you got a job Activision/Blizzard
But your micro-transactions are complicating
So the WoW won’t let me be,
Or let me be me so let me see
They tried to shut me down on FTP
But it feels so empty without me.
I herd you liek ROFLWoW! It’s my favoritest World of Warcraft Podcast, is it yours? It is? YAAAAY! You are really gonna like the discussion of the “Saving Private Ryan” Dude is writing the new WoW movie that is not subtitled “Rise of the Lich King” after all. We once again ask the question “Will WoW ruin your life?” This is the point where things go bad. REAL BAD. The “One Guy, One Cup” video has been haunting me. Good news is that he is still alive. http://owmyass.com/1_guy_1_cup.htm ( Go ahead and click, no videos or pics ) The bad news is that he is real, and will recover to repeat. Voldemort is a bastard, and his mother may or may not be a rapist. I wish I had a recording of the follow up discussion I had with my wife on the subject. There is a little more WoW talk, I think. This show got away from us again… I know. ‘
Wait, there was a little pumpkin talk, too.
“You’ve been gone for TWO WHOLE WEEKS! Your podcast sucks, you will never be as good as “The Instance”! You’re a 34 year old LOSER who is wasting his life playing VIDEO GAMES!” –The Listeners
Geez… You guys are mean. I put alot of work into this podcast, You could be a little appreciative, you know. You are going to hurt my feeling. ;(
This episode marks the triumphant return of Jamie Jordan from Gaming Uncensored. He came through in the Zero hour to help record this hilarious, if not a bit dis-railed, episode. The WoW starts at 12:00, but the funny is all the way through.
Are we to believe that the new Warcraft movie is to be titled “World of Warcraft: Rise of the Lich King”? WoW : RoLK. I like it. ZombieLand uses MMO Player stereotypes for Jesse Eisenberg, and I like that too. Will Cataclysm be the most awesome thing ever? I like Apocalypses, they are fun.
Dan goes on an Anti-Apple rant, and Jamie adds fuel to the fire. And the show goes downhill from there. Honestly, I think this might be one of my favorite episodes so far, even if the WoW chatter is sparse.
Go check out the Primal Defense Addon.
Oh what a night. It’s midnight, as my wife would say, I am burning the midnight “Owl”. Anyhoo… show notes.
Paltalk is suing Blizzard, Dan thinks they have every right to. Maybe Blizz will license the software and improve in-game chat! New patch 3.22 is out, and we mull over the details. There are a lot of numbers flying on this episode, so get out your protractors, and slide on a pocket protector!
WoW reboots in China, and everyone has to start off from level one. Be thankful you live in a free country. Imagine how much it would suck to have to go through a “Big Wipe”.
Speaking of big wipes, I gotta go make a doodie. Have fun listening.
…To the podcast, not my doodie. I wouldn’t subject you to that, although some are of the opinion that it would be an improvement over listening to this podcast. =)
Okay…Show notes. I just spent 30 minutes “photoshopping” the below image, and now my bird clock is telling me that it is 1am, and that the dalies have reset. Let’s get the show online quick, I have fish to catch, and meatloaf to bake. Is WoW like cake? We think so. President Obama don’t like cake, and tells our children not to eat it. Wait…um. He tells kids not to play videogames like World of Warcraft, mostly… Does he complain about cake too? Geez, lay off and just give us all free healthcare already. I digress. Is Cataclysm WoW 2? Try asking that to a random stranger, complain to yourself on the bus that goblins just don’t make sense, or start a podcast like I did. That way I can ask Andy and the audience these hard hitting questions. Is this enough show notes? Can I play nao? KTHXBAI!
Do you ever get that not so fresh feeling? …Wait, I think I’ve already used douche jokes in show notes already. Oh well, stick with what you know, I guess. Do you want to “mount” a “beast”? I’m sure you do! Just don’t give your user/pass to hackers like the fools that we talk about on the show. Blizz has decided that you cannot sufficiently protect yourself, so now they are virus scanning every time you log on. Are you having fun playing WoW? Ur doing it rong! Pro tips for being a hardcore player. Does anything in this paragraph make sense? No? Go play some Warcraft and release some stress; having mock sex in Goldshire on the Argent Dawn server is a good way!
STAND UP! Okay now…SIT DOWN! Oh yeah, that’s how I like it, STANDUPSITDOWNSTANDUPSITDOWNSTANDUPSITDOWN!!!1!eleven! /orgasm /quit.
This is my favorite episode of the ROFLWoW podcast? Why, you ask? How rude of you, the obvious reason is that my lovely wife joined us on the show this week. She is pure awesomeness. She radiates an aura of excellence in podcasting, and I love her dearly (there might be a smidge of fear in there, too, but let’s just keep that between us, okay). Everyone wants the World of Warcraft Magazine for their coffee tables! Egon is wrong, print is not “dead”. Wired.com grills Sams, and Sams ensures us that the nextgen MMO from Blizz won’t interfere with WoW. We don’t buy it. Casual games are more “addictive” than WoW. Breathing is more “addictive” than eating. Sleeping is more “addictive” than waking up. Andy reveals a wonderful story about a Tennis player that used WoW to help recover from an injury. Finally, Dan reads a few hilarious right wing nutjob articles from Christwire.org . Are they real? Does the Pope shit in the woods? Do bears wear funny hats? (not counting Yogi).
